Living on Paper
The lovely boy at Starbucks made this bear for me today.

The lovely boy at Starbucks made this bear for me today.

Life lesson #4608

When asked what one has to say for themselves “shim sham shimmy” is never the right answer.

Looks like pup is as stoked for Shark Week as I am

Looks like pup is as stoked for Shark Week as I am

Calling the hipster police…

Just saw a girl in Starbucks using a Dell laptop NOT a Mac. Is that even allowed? Is there a tips hotline I should be calling?

My Teddy Graham has a latte afro and it’s making him feel dancey. Today may be the day I get fired…

My Teddy Graham has a latte afro and it’s making him feel dancey. Today may be the day I get fired…

Status Update: Considerably Less Suicidal

Two months and 1312 pages later, the war is almost over. I’ve 74 pages of War and Peace to go and I am happy to report that I now know who at least 75% of the characters are and of what their current status in this story is. True, the majority of them have a status of “dead” but let’s not nitpick.

As lame as it may sound, getting through this book will be a huge accomplishment for me. I feel like I’ve been fighting a war alongside the Russians and cannot wait to deal that final blow to Napoleon’s army as I slam the book closed on page 1386, never to be opened again. I am aware that this is supposed to be one of the world’s greatest novels, but nevertheless I will be all too glad to see it over and done with. What can I say, when it comes to wars I just don’t give an eff. This book has taken up way too much of my time and brain power and with just over 3 months left I have to admit that I am not going to get all 30 books done in time. I blame Monsieur Bonaparte for this. Merde!

Still not cute enough for me to share my McFlurry with…

Still not cute enough for me to share my McFlurry with…

Feeling rather stabby today. Entering my “reach zone” is not recommended.

Feeling rather stabby today. Entering my “reach zone” is not recommended.

As testament to the universe’s sadistic humour it only seems right that I, a selfish and bitchy broad, should have the type of friends who send you beautiful flowers at work for no reason at all. I am lucky. I am loved.

As testament to the universe’s sadistic humour it only seems right that I, a selfish and bitchy broad, should have the type of friends who send you beautiful flowers at work for no reason at all. I am lucky. I am loved.

So, I sorta figured out why my brother and his girlfriend don’t come around so much anymore…

So, I sorta figured out why my brother and his girlfriend don’t come around so much anymore…